so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
