Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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