If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
