Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
