Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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