Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
