Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
