would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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