I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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