speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
