Will you blow on my dice?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
