Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
