...so i touched it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
