He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I AM VODKA MAN
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
