And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
