Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
