I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
