Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
