Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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