Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
