i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
