glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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