you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
