Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
