Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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