he thought i was a dude.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
