I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
