I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
