Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were destined to go to rehab together
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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