Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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