Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize