I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
