You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
