Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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