i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We had sex on a dog bed..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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