the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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