I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
