god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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