I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
