then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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