when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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