just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
