I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
