Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
