i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
