Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
