so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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