Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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