I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
