At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
