I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
